Screw Flea's father in law...I just met Dee Snider. Needless to say he's pretty badass...

...many elephants lurking in sweet stairwells alone...monkeys eat licorice in sticky sheets always...my ears look interesting sometimes so adapt...meticulous eels like itchy snakes slithering along...mighty elk leap inside sketchy situations automatically...matching emu's like incense sniffing so abundantly...most eggs lather in silky swans' abdomens...markers etch lines into strong sturdy alpines...murders embark ladies into small stuffy apartments...mammoths echo loudly in silent sultry altitudes...movable eels lick insects so strangely awkward...mice eat lemons in stiff soda aluminum...making everyone listen in school seems annoying...marines earn living in strict social arenas...men embarking lively in studios seem accepting...mongrels execute lice inside some schoolgirls acquaintance...

Questions I'd pay to never hear again

- What is a buffalo burger? Is it buffalo meat?
- What time do they open the park?
- Do you have a pool?
- Can you get internet from the room?
- Where's the best place to eat?
- Can you do half one kind of pizza and half another kind?
- How do you turn on the fireplace?
- Do you have air conditioning?
- What's the code to the internet room?
- Where are the best places to go in the park?
- What's the weather going to be like this week?
- Is there a medical clinic?
- What are you going to school for?

thinGs i loVe...reaLLy

...biG dogs with strAit hair...PINEAPPLE...laying out...coconut...my parents...Pink...disney movies...goood music...earriNgs...BriGht fingernail polish...chaPstick...biRds...the song Circle of Life...hugging a piLLow against my body wHen i sLeep...walks...waKing up and haVing a text message...suNsets...when the cRows eat the garbaGe...bRushing my teeTh...my Moles...the nUmber 3...souR patch Kids...piCtures...heat liGhteniNg...opeNing beers...running errands during work...swiNging...peaNut butter

some restaurant experiences...

There is nothing quite like working in a restaurant, it's really nothing you can even imagine until you've done it yourself. I'm not going to say that I'm the best waitress in the world, but I don't by any means think I am bad at it either. I've never personally had a bad waitress, but I do know how you could be awful at it. Anyway, I thought I would share a few of my funny restaurant experiences just to give you all a better idea of what it entails...
- One lady ordered a pizza to go at Wild West. I gave her the credit card receipt and she literally left me a one cent tip on it. What the heck. I would have MUCH rather had nothing! I don't expect a tip on a to go order (although I do often get them and they are of course much appreciated), and I would rather have nothing than that one cent. That's seriously just more of a hassel. It was kinda hilarious.
- One time a very nice older Mexican couple asked to take a picture of me. They said they were going to show it to their family in Mexico. They couldn't speak english but they had a middle-aged man with them who was explaining all of this to me as their camera was aiming at my direction. They left their phone numbers and addresses for me in case I ever go there. It's still in my wallet :)
- An older man asked me if I wanted to try his beer. He was literally holding out his glass for me until one of the guys with him said "oh leave her alone..." ha! I loved him.
- I had a lady once ask me if we had any other food OTHER than what was on the menu.....seriously. I just wanted to say "Yeah we just have a big storage back here of tons of food we don't tell our customers about...its top secret." Idiot.
- This one is kind of embarrassing, but it was first night at Wild West, and we were way busy. I wasn't used to everything yet and I was running around like crazy cuz one of the food tickets got lost so I was trying to figure that out. So I was serving a table with a bunch of kids and I brought out half their drinks and forgot about the other half until they got their food. So finally the lady pays and she writes a note on the receipt saying, "Tip is for the bussers ONLY. Waitress consider finding a new occupation." If I wrote down everything I wanted to say to this woman it would make a novel.

Well that's just a few examples of what you are likely to experience in the serving occupation. The adventures are endless...

claim to fame

So I was working at Old Town a few days ago, when this old gentleman comes in. He seemed nice enough, and he was wearing a Red Hot Chili Peppers shirt so I decided that was a good enough reason to offer him my service. He sat down and I said, "I like your shirt". And he then went on to tell me that he is Flea's father in law. Who knew?! He showed me pictures of his (Flea's) daughter and wife, who is a supermodel. I thought it was ironic. I told him he should hook me up with tickets or something, he said sure but accidentally forgot to get my number. Silly man.

Well, things just never really turn out how you plan. For instance, I got another job. Turns out they had to cut my hours at the cafe I work at in the mornings, so I now have a third job at Wild West Pizzeria. But, it is SO much fun. I love it there. So my schedule is currently as follows:

Sun- work 4-12 am hibernation station
Mon- work 4-12 am hibernation station
Tue- work 5-12 am hibernation station
Wed-work 12-5 pm wild west
Thurs- work 12-5 pm wild west
Fri- work 7-3 pm/4-12 am old town/hibernation station
Sat- work 7-3 pm/4-12 am old town/hibernation station

Oh, and whenever anyone decides to call me in, which is turning out to be usually sunday or tuesday mornings :) soooo funnnnnn.

day of optimism

I feel that there are too many complaints about our world. Especially here where there are crazy-ace people all over and you work every second. So here is a list of reasons why I LOVE to work at my two jobs in West Yellowstone!!!

1- I get free toilet paper (from the hotel...we take it...yes.)
2- Tons of complimentary gum packets
3- PLENTY of time to blog, check e-mail, facebook, shop online
4- YouTube
5- Foreigners
6- Free restaurant food
7- Tips
8- Free horseback rides
9- Hibernation Station has a hot tub
10- I get to say "Hibernation Station" at least 50 times a day
11- We all got some pretty bad-a sweatshirts for free
12- Soap. For free
13- Toothpaste. For free
14- Tiana, Laurie, Brooke
15- Parker, Kendall
16- The pizza guy comes and signs our card, once we get 10 signatures, we get a free pizza!
17- Everything is walking distance
18- I can wear a T-shirt to waitress in
19- Russ, one of the cooks at old town. Love him.
20- Although I've never had a beer, something about opening one for customers makes me feel way cool inside

:) life is beautiful.

sNow daY

Today on the 7th of June I woke to a flurry little snowstorm. I was prepared, so it wasn't the end of the world. Which is suprising because I hate cold weather. I love the sun, I love being warm, I love laying out, but today when it was snowing I was just ok with it. I don't know what it was, but something inside me was just like "yeah, it's snowing, and it's fine". It was magical in a way. I liked watching it ouside the windows of the cafe. And now it's all melted. The end.

Things I've learned in the past 26 days:

- Americans are usually either the most friendly or the most unfriendly group of people.
- You can't trust the weather report up here. Ever.
- A brewery is where you brew your own alcohol.
- Foreign boys take everything you say, literally. EVERYTHING.
- Never ride your bike to the beach on a windy day.
- Don't plan on getting tan or have your heart set on laying out for the day.
- It's ok to shop at WalMart IF and only IF you live here
- How to turn on a fireplace using a thermostat
- Missing people sucks...
- The Twilight movie is everything people said it was. It's bad quality and bad acting, yet intriguing and magical. And Edward is hot.
- The Bookworm is possibly the best place on the planet.
- The giant animal carvings outside my work are elk, not buffalo :)
- The best way to pass the time when bored is to collage
- Blogging is fun.

My big break

I have met quite the assortment of interesting people while being up here, and Sunday afternoon I came across one that was definitly near the top of the list. I shall tell you of him.
So I was sitting at the counter of the cafe I work at, chatting with Laurie, and this man was sitting next to me. Bless his heart. He was probably mid-60's, messy hair, bad teeth, overweight...anyway, after mentioning his love of chocolate, the fact that he needs to "put on sunglasses to look at me" (I was wearing a red dress), and after singing me a song he "wrote", he begins talking to me about some sort of movie he's planning on making. He offered me a lead role. Yes. It is said to be some sort of western. I would be playing the role of younger Katy, and if all goes according to plan he's going to get Faith Hill to play the older Katy. I don't resemble Faith Hill in the slightest, but he seems to be convinced it will work out great. I wanted to be polite so I just went along and told him it was a wonderful idea. I asked him a few questions about his life as well. He has only been married once...to an 18 year old when he was 27.....but she supposedly got hooked on meth and ran off with another guy. I told him he was better off.

You all should be excited to see me in my movie debut.

Policeman

My journey to this small town would not have been complete without some type of interaction with a police officer...no...2 police officers. Yes. Of all the people I know, I would have to say that I have probably been pulled over more times than any of them. Here is my compilation of occasions in which I was obligated to stop due to the flashing red lights:

1-My first time was when I was driving home from a movie. The officer explained to me that I made a left hand turn into the far right lane rather than the nearest lane. No ticket.

2- The next night, yes, I failed to make a stop BEHIND the white line at a stop sign rather than on top of the line. No ticket.

3- The third consecutive night of being pulled over (this is not a joke, it happened 3 nights in a row), the same officer from the FIRST night got me for pulling out in front of him. It's not my fault my car can barely chug its way up onto the street. No ticket.

4- Registration expired. No ticket.

5- Just finished breakin someones heart. Late at night. Lights not on. No ticket.

6- On my way to get my registration renewed. No ticket.

7- My sweet little car stalled at a stop sign. The policeman must have been bored cuz he pulled me over after he saw me struggling. No ticket.

8- Driving home from Danny's, I honestly cannot tell you why I got pulled over this time. Really the officer sounded stoned or something, he was just mumbling about not being able to see my plate or something....I'm confused to this day. No ticket.

9- On my birthday of this year I was going 84 in a 65 on the freeway. The policeman gave me a warning for my speed but informed me that my insurance was expired, all I would need to do is e-mail the court my proof of insurance at the time I was pulled over and it would be cleared. Unfortunatly my father failed to update our insurance, so I was not covered, and I had to pay $415. HUGE TICKET. But I think it shouldn't count...

10- On the way up here to Montana, pulled over for 90 in a 75. No ticket.

11- AGAIN, on the way to Montana, no license plate on the front of my car. No ticket. But the fine is $52 in case you were wondering.

12- Pulled over IN Montana for going 30 in a 25. No ticket.

What can I say???